Seasons of life can be very interesting, especially in retrospect. While in the middle of a season, the days can seem long, challenging, and sometimes even monotonous. But just as winter turns to spring or summer turns to fall, seasons are necessary for life to continue the way God intended.
I attended Shelbyville Community Church from approximately 2007 to 2011. For a short period of time I was on the worship team surrounded by a fantastic group of people. Most people weren’t aware of the mess that my life was at home. But when I was with those people, none of the chaos at home seemed to matter. God was teaching me some incredible things and giving me oppourtunities that I couldn’t fathom.
At some point during that time, “Revelation Song” hit the Christian music market and we were quick to latch onto that song as a ballad. Something deep within our souls was ignited when we sang and played it. Few songs do what that song did and still does. And after all of these years, I still have people approach me and say that each time they hear that song they think of our group at SCC.
I lived a pretty brutal season of life from 2010 to 2013. Some of it was thrust on me by the actions of others and some of it was self-inflicted. Both were painful and difficult to maneuver. Many people thought they “knew” everything about my story and made judgments. Others just walked away. A few attempted to walk with me and talk me through. But at the end of each day, I found myself sitting alone with God. We sorted through the messiness and He revealed things to me that needed to be dealt with. It was wonderful and terrible all at the same time.
At some point, I began to question what my actions in that season had done to compromise my witness. Especially at times like “Revelation Song” coming on the radio, I found myself rehashing all of the details I could recall and again finding myself in awe of a God who didn’t turn His back on me. It’s simply unfathomable to me.
As I’ve embarked on my recent writing and speaking journey, I’ve sensed God calling me to another season. My prayer team has prayed with me. Other friends have prayed for me. I needed to be assured that I was following God’s leading and not my own heart. My heart often deceives me.
I had decided that I was going to step down from the worship team at church. Mother’s Day would be my last Sunday. Approximately two weeks prior to Mother’s Day, I received a text asking if I would lead “Revelation Song”. I had to look at my phone multiple times. Is that really what he’s asking me? He has no idea what this song represents in my life. I don’t even know if I can do it anymore. God, I don’t know what you’re doing and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. More texts sent immediately asking for more prayers.
Was God giving me this song to let me know that He was again redeeming my story? Was this affirmation that I was supposed to step down? Was He bringing me full circle? So many questions.
As Mother’s Day approached I still wasn’t completely at peace about any of it. My voice isn’t strong and young anymore. It’s a challenging song. But I wholeheartedly trusted God to let them hear what He wanted them to hear. Nothing more and nothing less.
As I type this tonight, I’m sitting on my front porch watching the trees as they seem to be breathing in and out the stormy evening air. Another season approaches. Change is necessary. Much like the trees, I feel new life. Different life. And I lack no confidence in my God to do exceedingly, abundantly more than I could ask or imagine.
Ephesians 3:20-21 ~ Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.