Not one more solitary thing. I can’t do it. If I add one more thing to my list I’m going to lose my mind. Sound familiar? Oh. No? It’s just me? Fine. I’m still going to write; that’s how I process life.
As the oldest of seven and a Type-A alpha female (I don’t say that boastfully. But I read a book recently that identified me.), I have always been a doer. Don’t worry about passing anything off to someone else. I’ll just do it. It’s easier that way.
I remember when my kids were still in the house and I thought, “What am I gonna do with all of my time when they’re gone?” Well, guess what? They’re gone. And I’ve managed to replace those items on my list with a plethora of others. It might be date night with my husband, a movie with a friend, working in my flower beds, agreeing to be on another committee, or maybe reading another fantastic book. The list never seems to end. And yet the very thing that I need the most, the single most important thing, is often NOT top on my list.
In Deuteronomy 6:5 and 30:20, Matthew 22:37-40, Mark 12:30, and Luke 10:27 we find clear and concise commands. We are to LOVE God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. He gives us this command for several reasons. None of the other commandments matter if we don’t put Him in His proper place.
In my previous blog titled “Weekend Away From Home”, I mentioned that I was struggling with what to write. Suddenly, the scales fell from my eyes and I knew. The most important thing is time with God. Not cranking up the radio and singing praise to worship Him (although that’s certainly something I highly recommend). It’s not even going to church on Sunday or Bible study on Wednesday or small group on Thursday (but those are definitely good, too). It’s not serving in the food pantry or ringing the bell at Christmas. All of these are things “for Him”. We hope He notices all of those things we’re DOING. But I desperately need to just SIT and BE STILL with Him. I want and need to KNOW Him.
In Revelation, John writes to the churches and he begins with Ephesus. Initially, it sounds pretty good; he sees their work, their endurance. All of the things we like to check off of our list. But then he pulls the rug out from under them. In Revelation 2:4 he says, “But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first”.
Do you remember that time? When we first meet Jesus we just can’t get enough. We pour over His Word and we long to spend sweet time with Him. Then, somewhere along the way, we drift. It’s slow. Barely noticeable. (Except in situations like how we treat people.) Levi Lusko says, “…..your walk with God is missing the walking-with-God part”.
I can recall countless times with my boys that I failed miserably. I acted or reacted out of frustration, insecurity, confusion, or any number of other things. It’s safe to say that on those days, I had forgotten my first love.
There are also clear memories of friends that I’ve let down. Decisions that clearly weren’t aligned with the will of God. How could I know His will or even recognize His voice to discern and make the right decision if I hadn’t spent time with Him?
Recently, I saw a video from 1981 of Gloria Gaither. She told the story of how a particular song came to be written. As the mom of three young children, she found herself in that familiar rat race of piano lessons, picking up from school, helping with
homework, etc. But this particular night, in her “spare time”, she picked up her Bible. She said, “I’ve remembered to take them to the dentist. I’ve taught all of them to make their bed. I make sure they say please and thank you. But when did I teach them to love God with all of their heart? When did I teach them the things that have eternal impact?”
We have such a short blip of time in this life. Lists of things are necessary, but they can’t be the priority. If God is my first love, I have less anxiety. If God is my first love, I act and react out of my relationship with Him. With God as my first love, I’m fully surrendered to Him and His plan.
My plan for maintaining God as my first love probably doesn’t look anything like yours. That’s okay. I’m weird.
But be intentional. Be purposeful. And one last thing. Don’t just grab a devotional and have a box to check off. Learn to be still. To just sit and listen. Your first love is waiting.