It’s been apparent for quite a while. That nagging feeling just kept hitting me. One year ago, I had come back from Speak Up in Grand Rapids and I was a few weeks post op from my very unexpected total hysterectomy (due to an incidental finding of a mass in my ovary). Getting back in a routine was much more challenging than I anticipated. I had created “the list”. I knew all of the things I needed to do. Listen, I even actually followed through on a few of those pesky lines on my list. But gradually, day by day, ever so slowly, things got worse. My back hurt. My hips felt like they were constantly in a vice. My joints ached. I couldn’t get a good night of sleep. The brain fog was maddening. I legitimately felt my age for the first time in my life, and I didn’t like it. Not one bit.
I’ve always thoroughly enjoyed the benefits of discipline and structure. But I’m also a bit spontaneous and impulsive. It’s a volatile mix most days; you never really know which side of me might show up.
I found myself frustrated. I’m not a fan of cardio, but I do it. Walking was the only thing I was allowed to do post op last summer. The combination of no weight training for six weeks along with the unpredictable changes that my body was now faced with created additional problems. I was becoming a walking disaster and I didn’t even realize it. My eating habits have always been above the bar; lots of fruits and veggies, low on processed foods, etc. But it became very apparent that eating the right foods wasn’t my only concern. I needed time to do some studying on the subject. I probably needed to adapt my schedule. I definitely should’ve done all of those things. And yet I didn’t; at least not to the extent that I should’ve.
All of this looks very much like our lives with Jesus. There are and will continue to be seasons of change that we find ourselves in. Whether it be going from a house full of kids and activities to an empty nest or maybe going from a full-time job to retirement and volunteering, we’re forced to make changes. Things happen. Life looks different. And for one reason or another (none of which amount to a hill of beans), often, one of the first things we drop or get lazy about is our time with God. We justify it in a myriad of ways. We say that next week will be different or better. And then a month later, we’ve slipped even farther, and our “appetite” has completely changed.
There isn’t a “one size fits all” when it comes to time in the Word, prayer, study, or meditation. But I can assure you, it’s the last thing we should be compromising on. It should be nonnegotiable. End of discussion. Maybe I’m writing this just as a reprimand to myself about walking and movement. I suppose that’s possible. But I’m guessing that maybe one or two of you are cringing right now because it feels like you’re being called out. Listen, we’re all slackers every once in a while. This isn’t laying a guilt trip. I’m just saying that if you don’t want your spiritual life to suck (the equivalent of achy joints and back pain), you need to refocus and get God back in His right place. Tithe your time to Him first.
I’ll be out here walking this dang Intelliplex path, acting like the heat isn’t bothering me. Maybe I need to switch to mornings?