This past week I went to Grand Rapids for the Speak Up Conference (basically where this story began last year). Per usual, there was a stellar list of conference team members along with an equally impressive group of attendees.
Last month I wrote about coincidences, specifically from my NYC trip. This trip to Grand Rapids was no less eventful.
My friend Gina and I had no problem at all filling the four-hour ride from Indy to Michigan. So much to catch up on and I wanted to give her a brief summary of what she could anticipate from the conference. It was a gorgeous day to travel; thank you, Jesus.
One of the many things we talked about: my next tattoo. With three ideas to ponder, I had all but decided on “But God…” Those have been two of my favorite words from the Bible for quite some time.
On Friday morning, Robyn Dykstra was speaking. She’s a brilliant and talented lover of Jesus and so much fun to hear. I don’t recall how far into her talk she was when she said (multiple times), “But God…” Gina turned in her chair, eyes wide. I just smiled. Big! I suppose if God’s wanting to be so obvious how could I tell him no? Right?!
After attending last July, I came home encouraged, but also profoundly overwhelmed. I built a website. (Don’t be too critical. It’s a work in progress same as I am.) I dove headfirst into study time and wanted to improve my teaching. I’ve had two speaking engagements. And I’m blogging very consistently. The one thing I didn’t do: spend any energy on writing for a book. So, this year I was seeking clarity. Am I on the right path? Do I need to focus on other things? The thought of writing a 60,000-word book was enough to make me think about poking my eyes with an ice pick. UGH!
I sat one-on-one with Kia Stephens, Rachael Adams, Lee Nienhuis, and Suzanne Kuhn. I mostly rambled (which is absolutely the last thing you want to do when you’re in that moment). They graciously endured my banter and proceeded to offer the most lifegiving words. In a nutshell, don’t worry about writing a book. Be faithful and obedient to the things God has in front of me right now. Basically, I’m probably already doing what I’m supposed to be doing. Well thank you, God!
There was at least one area of relatability for me with each keynote speaker. Strained parental relationship, a child out-of-wedlock, drugs, alcohol, and so much more. With each story I felt God saying to me, “Your time will come”. Kia and Robyn, along with Tammy Whitehurst, Cindy Bultema, Judy Dunagan, and of course, Carol Kent, delivered with perfection and solidified my resolve.
Saturday morning, I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, and I prayed, “God, if you could have Christina Custodio somehow work my tattoo (which says “only Jesus”) into my professional photos, that would just be fantastic. I know it seems a bit silly maybe. But I think it would be effective. So if you could do that, I’d tell everybody!” I showed up a few minutes early to my scheduled session with Christina. Honestly, several hours had passed since I prayed that prayer. I hadn’t given it another thought. But you can probably guess what happened next. She had me sit backwards in a chair with my arms over the back and when she saw my forearm she said, “I want to try to work your tattoo into the picture, so the focus isn’t on your face”. I’m not really sure why we continue to be surprised when God shows up and shows off like that. But wow!
By the time Saturday evening rolled around, Carol was placing the perfect bow on the conference package. “It just so happened” must have been spoken by her a dozen times. God’s providence in our lives is much like the story of Ruth and Boaz being in the lineage of Jesus.
I shouldn’t have been at all surprised when the worship leader closed the session with “I Trust in God”. That’s the song I sang to close my first speaking engagement after the conference last year. I raised my hands in gratitude and awe of that sweet, little gift to me. I don’t need to worry about a book. He just asks me to be obedient to the opportunities He’s placing in my life. It’s all about Him. It’s not about me. And I can trust Him to write the entire thing.
Now I sit on my porch on a Monday evening knowing that all of the “But God” moments along with each “It just so happened” have brought me to this place. I can add “published” and “author” to my name. I don’t deserve any of it. But He’s so faithful to redeem and restore. And it’s all about Him anyway.
Ephesians 2:4-5 ~ But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – by grace you have been saved………