Some of you can “hear” this picture. If you know me, I laugh. A lot. And loud. My boys have always found it pretty embarrassing (maybe even annoying). Multiple times over the years, people have said something like, “I was guessing you were here somewhere, and then I heard you”. Generally speaking, I don’t try to stifle it. It’s part of who I am.
While laughter is mostly the result of emotions that we enjoy (happiness, joy, surprise, etc.), there’s a long list of emotions that, for the most part, we don’t like to experience, let alone “sit” in. Maybe you’re experiencing fear, sadness, worry, anger, and regret, just to name a few. For whatever reason, we’ve come to believe a few lies along the way.
The first lie is that feelings are “bad”. We shouldn’t express them and we certainly shouldn’t linger in them. How many of you can hear your mom or dad say, “You better quit that cryin’ or I’m gonna give you something to cry about”. (All joking aside, there are definitely times that I needed to be told that. LOL) For some reason, many of us are even convinced that emotions are unbiblical. I would think it’s safe to say that David would have something to say about that. The Psalms are packed with emotion.
Another lie comes from the “other side”. Many of us are recovering “fixers”. Typically, if someone comes to us with a problem, we automatically think we’re supposed to fix it. Truth be told, we shouldn’t be fixing anything. That’s God’s job. More often than not, we simply need to listen and have compassion.
Now there are certainly other lies we could sort through. Often, something presents itself in my life and then I’m convinced that others MUST be experiencing something similar. So I’ll just recommend Untangle Your Emotions by Jennie Allen. She brilliantly navigates this topic with simplicity all while pointing us to Jesus.
I’ve had more than a few conversations with women about friendship and relationship. Historically, we’re not great in this area. We major in small talk and minor in recipe sharing. Genuine, walk-beside-me, call-me-at-3am, I’m-sobbing-on-the-bathroom-floor, relationships are extremely rare. But God literally created us for community; with each other and especially with Him. In order to do that, it’s absolutely necessary that we know how we FEEL. When we speak those feelings, we can also go to God’s Word and find His promises. Instead of lingering in the anger, resentment, or sadness, we should have friends who help to buffer those feelings. Someone to help us keep the kayak in the middle of the river instead of constantly bouncing off of both shores. (Thanks to Jennie for that analogy that is now ingrained in my mind.)
Life is super hard. Our marriages get stuck in ruts. Our kids stray. Jobs aren’t fulfilling. Parents are growing older. It’s a lot. But God has given us all we need; and that includes emotions. Let Him and the community He’s surrounded you with, sit with you in those emotions. You’ll find Him so very faithful and trustworthy.
Romans 12:15 ~ Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.