Have you ever read the Bible chronologically? I hadn’t. But something about that appealed to me. So on January 1st I embarked on that journey with The Bible Recap. I went to Genesis 11 and then it takes a turn to the book of Job. I haven’t read through Job (front to back) since 2007. WOW! My eyes were opened.
It was 13 years ago this week that I first heard the word C-A-N-C-E-R. I went to Dr Morrell (long after I should’ve) and the look on his face confirmed what I already feared (knew). He called IU Simon Cancer Center and made a pre-op appointment. I waited for pathology to write on paper what he’d already told me. It was an incredibly stressful time.
I had surgery in February which was to be followed by chemo treatments. But God……He had a plan. And it didn’t include the need for chemo. I was an abnormally compliant patient (very much out of character for me) for the next five years. Ultimately Dr Mark said, “You’re cancer free” in 2016. I thanked God over and over for His abundant grace, mercy, and love.
When I reflect back on those days, I don’t find myself focusing much on the medical details. Those were just the physical manifestations of my spiritual condition. I was dying and didn’t even know it. Some of my problem was self-inflicted. Some of it was the result of others who brought me pain. Regardless, it all needed dealt with. This is where I find myself relating to Job.
To know Job’s story is to know that, according to God, Job was blameless and upright. I definitely can say I have never been that. But apparently Job had other things that would never have been revealed otherwise. So God allowed Satan to strip Job of everything ~ his wealth, his health, and all of his kids. There are 42 chapters that painstakingly document the narrative between Job, his friends, and God. I’m pretty sure God felt the same about me. He wanted to get my attention.
Unlike Job, I had some “things” that were NOT okay in God’s book. I won’t minimize those. But I think my bigger issue, like Job, was pride. At the end of the day, God said to Job, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?” Who was Job and who am I to think I should understand God’s ways? When I read the words, “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge”, I was deeply convicted. And by the time I reached the end of the book I resonated with Job all the more. He said, “I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eyes see you…..” I knew His Word. Lots of memorized scripture. But I was coming to see His character. He was revealing His nature.
Obviously not all who experience cancer have underlying sin or pride to uncover. But even those who are blameless in the eyes of a holy God are not themselves God. The only way to know Him better is to spend time WITH Him. The more time I spend in the presence of my holy God, the more aware I am of my sinful, fallen condition.
God, I crave your presence in my life. Thank you for opening my eyes to something new. You are faithful and trustworthy.
What a great testimony of the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual pain we all go through.. But God is with you through it all. He never promised there wouldn’t be suffering and instead of questioning Him we should be thanking Him and turning to Him in those times. I definitely need to practice this more as well. Love your writing and the way it speaks to my soul. 🫶