Listening to the radio the other day I heard something that wouldn’t stop bouncing around my head. We’ve probably done a huge disservice to people (but I’m specifically talking about women) by telling them, “You can have it all”. You’ve heard that or even said it, right? But the truth is, that’s impossible. There’s no way to be all the things all the time AND do them with excellence.
For years (let’s just say lots of years) I’m pretty sure that was at least a part of my problem. Remember me mentioning the whole failure topic (refer back to four-part series that began April 8, 2024)? I was trying so hard to be the best wife, the coolest friend, the perfect mom, the top employee, the standout on stage, the ultimate volunteer, and a long list of other things. Reality was that at times I definitely excelled in each of those areas. (And I was likely keeping a clean house, too.) However, reality also included the truth that I often dropped at least one of those balls. I firmly believe that’s because we weren’t made for “having everything”. As a culture, we’ve somehow put that on ourselves. But it’s a lie.
Are you familiar with Proverbs 31? For those of you who may not be, let me give you a quick flyover. Proverbs in general is a book of wisdom. Chapter 31 features the characteristics that all women should aspire to. Here are a few examples: v. 14-15) She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens; v. 20) She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy; v. 24) She makes linen garments and sells them; v. 27) She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
That sounds like a lot of doing to me. And as Christians we’re quick to point out this chapter as a model; nothing wrong with that. But there’s another verse that I think gets too little attention. The end of verse 30 is the most important part of this chapter. It says, “….a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised”. Well now. That’s a vastly opposite message of a bunch of doing, don’t you think?
This takes me back to a theme I’ve been revisiting recently. The holiness of God is a topic that never crossed my mind until I read a book by Jackie Hill Perry. So many things in our lives are hinged to our understanding (or misunderstanding) of it. If we don’t start with that truth, it’s all downhill from there. (Or uphill maybe? Probably depends on perspective.) A firm belief in the holiness of God will result in healthy fear (which is quite possibly best described as awe). That fear and awe puts things in a proper priority order. This leads me to my next thought or idea.
Life has seasons. We might be in a season of change or grief. Or what about a season of waiting? Similarly, I think maybe we’re meant to do things for seasons. Proverbs 31 doesn’t tell us this incredible woman does all of these things at the same time. But because she fears the Lord she’s able to determine what she should focus on in any given season. If she didn’t, this woman who apparently is still awake after dark AND gets up early, would be looking an awful lot like us. We’re frazzled, hot messes with some great lipstick.
Here’s how I’m wrapping this up and hopefully giving us something good to think about: when we understand the holiness of God and are able to be fully engaged in the specific things He is calling us to in each season, we will find that we actually DO have it all. We have Jesus. That’s enough. That’s everything.
As I consider my current season, I find myself squirming a bit in my seat. What He’s calling me to isn’t the easiest path of least resistance. But it’s the purpose He has for me. Grand Rapids, I’ll see you Thursday.
Psalm 16:5-11 ~ “The Lord is my chosen portion…….I bless the Lord who gives me counsel……..I have set the Lord always before me………… You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”